hobias are completely illogical, but it is possible to overcome them through both graduated exposure and psychological management. I'm trying the former by skiing at a technically difficult mountain, getting lessons, and trying to get enough hours on snow that my body can start doing the right movements without me having to think too much. I could go and ski at Cardrona, which has flatter, wider terrain, but that would be giving in to the demon, and that just isn't going to happen. Sure I'll do a few days over there to ride with friends, but in the end, it's the steeps of Treble Cone that I need to conquer.
To use a windsurfing analogy, I'm at the gybing plateau, where you have all the skills to do a carving gybe, but you just can't put them together. The speed through the turn evades you, you don't know what to do with the sail, you can't get the timing right and you keep falling into the water. Then you start to get it. One or two here and there, then more consistently. With time on the water you start to get 30%, then 50% then 80%. Then suddenly, you are no longer thinking about how to do it, you just do it, and now you are thinking where to turn, not how to turn. You are now totally in tune with your board and sail and can now go anywhere.
At times I have been tempted to give it up and take up snow boarding (apparently less of a mind fuck than skiing) but I'm not someone to just give up so that totally isn't going to happen. Recommendations have included listening to music whilst skiing, and smoking a good thick spliff. I don't think I'll be taking the latter option, mainly because my history under the influence of weed isn't pretty. I can't even make a peanut butter sandwich, imagine how incapable I would be on a big slippery slope with a couple of planks strapped to my feet? I've tried the music option, but am still working on the right playlist. Work in progress.
As for the psychological management, there's a couple of techniques I can use, involving relaxation/meditation techniques. I think I should be a bit more persistent with these. Not so easy in a busy hostel, but there's always a quiet spot by the lake somewhere.
In the meantime, I progress slowly but surely, with a day here and there when I regress dreadfully. I have to stop beating myself up about these, and just accept that if I persist, I will overcome the fear, and the steeps, bumps and icy patches and one day crest that plateau where skiing comes naturally. Each day it's a bit better, and more and more I am overcoming the panic, touching the spiders, and making rainbows!